


Hallelujah

by Proudtobeinvisible



Series: A Series of Events (unfortunate? or fortunate?) [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Cussing, Darkness, Miracles, Monsters, Monstrosity, Narrator dies at the end, Religion, Strong Language, light - Freeform, narrator is killed, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 14:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proudtobeinvisible/pseuds/Proudtobeinvisible
Summary: Story of a trans person through poetry.





	Hallelujah

And I say hallelujah like it means some type of miracle when in reality there is nothing really there to scream for. 

When I say who I am and who people say I am don’t match this is when I say hallelujah, halle-fucking-jah cause I never wanted this.  

 

I never wanted this.

 

So hallelujah.

 

Hallelujah 

 

All I can do is see it, feel the shape of it on my lips as it passes like the damn lie it is.  

 

Hallelujah. 

 

I say it like it is a miracle, when I need it to be a monstrosity and change me.  I act as if it means something more than an empty word said in church.

 

All I can say is hallelujah, as I look at someone who dared to tell me that I cannot exist in the light for all I can be is in the dark

 

So I say hallelujah like it will guide me somewhere that I am.

 

That like this monstrosity of a miracle I call my body, this disgusting beast of a mess.  That all this didn’t call for a hallelujah.

 

Hallelujah I say.

 

Hallelujah I say as I am rejected from heaven’s gates.  As I am turned away from the place I should feel safe.

 

The word doesn’t even pass my fucking lips before they descend.  Angels they say they are, angels.  With sharp wings, the type who always say ‘Do not be afraid’

 

I feel the taste of dust on my lips, and for the first time in my wrecked beast of a body I cannot find the word.  

 

Only when I am on the ground and I cannot see do I find the word I need; 

 

Hallelujah I say.  Feeling their hatred on my lips, as their knives sharp as words pass through my skin. 

  
Halle-fucking-lujah

 

I say as I greet Heavens gates 

 

I look, and I say. 

 

Hallelujah for this, for me.  For this monstrosity that they set free.


End file.
